In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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