I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
