You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
