im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
