I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I FOUND THE LEGS
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
