so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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