Me. At least after what I've been through.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
