I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
