every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
