he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
