Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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