ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
