We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
