Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I understand Curling. That high.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
