all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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