I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
