So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
