I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
