you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
