This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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