Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
