Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Let's get the cat blown out
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