i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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