All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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