I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm too high and old for this...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Please don't give away my fajitas
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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