this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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