I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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