fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
