Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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