I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
