in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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