small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
