First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
