I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
