If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
