As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
