Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
