put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
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