i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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