do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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