OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
