I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
