Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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