dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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