Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
