oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
