my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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