Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize