I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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