Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize