Nicole vs. Life
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
