That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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