love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
