we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
