I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
