I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I don't deserve a penis
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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