Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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