Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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